If I knew then what I know now

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Letter to my teenage self (15 years)– inspired by this and this.

Dear Me,

I finally got down to writing this letter. It took a long time coming – I wanted to do it the day I achieve the big ‘0’ but they say don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Your first learning from me, don’t procrastinate ever, you never know what you will miss and what you will regret.

School’s over, college awaits. It will not be easy from here – There are and will be many smarter, brighter, superior, intelligent people than you – accept that fast. I know you will, since papa and mumma have ensured that your feet are firmly grounded to the earth.

It is good to have ambitions and dreams but prepare yourself to face the fact that not all of them will be always fulfilled. You will have to learn to be content, happy and satisfied with what you get and what you become.

You will miss your entire school bunch, don’t be surprised. A few will remain with you till date through thick and thin, some will fade but they will not go away from your memory. Those 43 girls spent 11 years with you – 7 hrs a day, 5 days a week, 10 months a year. Those memories cannot fade and don’t let them die. Don’t worry, in the future you will come across orkut/ facebook which will help you reconnect.

Life is not a popularity contest so stop fretting if people do not like you. Sometimes it is good to have enemies.

Some people need to grow up early in life – you will be one of them. You’ll realize this in a couple of years from now. You will hate God and hate your life. You will take your time and deal with it your way. I’m not going to tell anything right now because I want you to face it as and when it happens; for it will determine the person you are today. You will discover that you have enough strength in you to overcome tragedies, hardships, all the struggle and hurt you will go through from now on.

College will be a roller-coaster ride and a journey of discoveries. Sail through it and take everything with a pinch of salt. You will meet some awesome people who will become an integral part of your life. Their friendship and love will eliminate any scars that might have been left.

Zits are not permanent - they do disappear. Seems improbable now but trust me. Being thin and weighing 43 Kgs is not always bad – you’ll realize the benefits, but also remember you will not remain like this forever.

Learn to trust mumma when she tells you that girls begin to look pretty as they approach 25-30. Btw looks really do not matter when it comes to being with the right person.

It is okay to have a crush, and it is also okay to fall in love. Your first crush need not be your first love but it is okay to remain friends, you need not eliminate him from your life. He did not know so don’t blame him.

Guys can make the best of friends. They can remain loyal and care for you no matter what. You will have your own best guy-friends till date who will be your best confidants.

Remember in future that just cause you will not meet up in years does not mean you will drift apart as friends. Distance has got nothing to do with being friends.

Not being on the college magazine editorial team will hurt. That’s okay, you will continue to write and you will get your rewards. They may come in bits and pieces but people will appreciate your work. Keep writing, you may give up on it in between but get back to it. It will stay with you for long.

Not being able to pursue classical dancing will hurt but you will get the opportunities to get back. Keep the faith.

Your best friend will not be around everyday as she is today. Learn to deal with it. It could be years before you meet her but that does not mean your friendship will get affected. Refrain from the immature behaviour displayed when you girls were in Std IV. Trust her and trust yourself. She will remain your Rock of Gibraltar as always.

Guys do not always like assertive, in-your-face, independent, rebellious girls. You are not good at boosting people’s egos either. Over and above you are quite an authority over a game they claim is their own. You need not change yourself – you are doing fine. There will be one awesome guy who will like all these traits, so wait for him patiently.

You will probably have to give up your thoughts of no marriage and adoption as a single mother. You will tread the traditional way of life much before your friends do and will have a love marriage – don’t raise your eyebrows at me now. You are not meant for an arranged marriage – mom will not put herself through that torture.

Learn to let go. There is no point in keeping grudges or hating people. I’m not saying forgive and forget. I’m just saying forget – by keeping them in your mind you are just abusing your memory space.

On the other hand, learning a few swear words will help. Remember Calvin says: “Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.” So it is absolutely okay to learn them, they will help especially when you drive and when you need to curse people who land up hurting you, relieves you from a lot of pain!

Didi and you will torment each other less and grow close. You’ll seek her advice and confide all things to her first. Don’t be surprised. That’s how a relationship between sisters develops.

Mumma and family will adore the guy you marry and for first time you may not be the centre of attention – stop getting jealous of him – he is yours remember?

Don’t lose that rebellious streak in you, but let go of the stubbornness at times. Learn to express yourself to your loved ones more often, people like to be told that they are loved and cared for, you may get embarrassed when people tell you that but it does not mean that you do not reciprocate.

If someone tells you that once you see death you can deal with it better, don’t believe them. Dealing with death-never is and never will be easy, especially when it is of your loved ones. Yes, life moves on and we get on with our routine – but memories remain forever and no matter what, you miss your loved ones, every single day of your life.

People do change and you cannot change people; so you might need to re-adjust. The faster you learn this, the better – you will be saved of your own misery sooner.

Finally, take everything with a pinch of salt as clichéd as it may sound, and remember what Calvin said (Yeah that 6-year old brat will also teach you a whole lot of stuff – don’t forget to thank Bill Watterson)

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure

Life is not easy and if it has been, it means something is not right. To truly appreciate it, you need the tough times.

Cheers, have a great one and get to be me slowly!